Us against them, them against us!

I am so stressed out! Its like everyone wants me to choose a side. Why do I have to choose sides? Why cant I just believe what I believe, stand my ground and not move to either side?

I DID NOT go the SLC protest at Temple Square last night. I posted about it. I had planned on going. Yet in the end I felt that it would be disrespectful to Sky and Solee's religion. I would never, ever cross that line, EVER. I love those kids more than ANYONE, ANYONE, ANYONE and EVERYONE else in this world. I chose to go through LDS Family Services. I chose to place them with an LDS couple. I couldnt and wouldnt be able to attend such an even simply because of those two perfectly beautiful kids.

That being said, I feel so sick that I have been getting text messages, calls and emails from my mormon friends and family and my gay/ gay supportive friends trying to pull me one way or the other. I BELIEVE that equality should be for EVERYONE. I believe that the LDS church has the right to believe and support what it chooses, as well as any other church. 

I have come to realize that I am SPIRITUAL person not a RELIGIOUS person. I believe in a God. I dont see how I could not after everything that has happened in my life. God helped me get through it ALL. But I dont know about the LDS faith as my personal faith or any other religion for that matter. 

This might be surprising to many of you. But this is me. I have grown from, into and continue to grow through my sole faith in a spiritual God. A God that is all loving, compassionate, perfect and wise. A God that loves ALL no matter what. A God that loves YOU and ME and EVERYONE. 

This all breaks my heart. I want peace. And as long as there is this war I will forever stand for BOTH sides because I see beauty and love in both stances. THIS IS ME whether you like it, love it, understand it OR not. My heart is good as God is good.

Have a little FAITH in ME.