Tuesday, May 10, 2011

This is forever my burden

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." -Thomas Edison

For no particular reason at all I have always had a lack of faith in myself. It has been like a cage to a bird. There are times when I think that I may finally be set free, only to realize that I am forever tied down to that same stupid cage. The cage that has been there, a part of me, for my whole life.

I am a painter, a writer, a photographer.... a natural born artist. And yet here I sit tied down to my hollow art that no longer carries any substance or meaning. At least I don't think that it does. For all I know my art, my creativity, my genius, could be staring me right in the face every day. But I am blind to my own potential. For whatever reason I cannot see straight when it comes to me.

Maybe it's like dreaming my own death. Impossible. But then again maybe it's like the frustration that I feel when I want to shake the sense into the people that I hold dear. Possible but messy. And I don't like cleaning up messes.

I have always been afraid. And art makes me feel like I am in a horror movie. Where do I run? Where do I hide? Will I be the last one standing? Will I make it out alive? I don't know for sure. I am not even sure what this rambling all means. Maybe it's just a vent, carrying my thoughts and worries into the great unknown.

Either way I am not sure if I am my own prisoner or if the world out there is what keeps me forever in the cage....

Saturday, May 07, 2011

These two crazy kids are going to be parents!!!

My sister Tiffany and her husband are going to be parents and I couldn't be happier for them! I know that they are going to be amazing/fun parents. Kevin has to go to Iraq for a while but he should be back in time to meet his new daughter or son. Hopefully, my mom and I can fly out to Delaware for that! Anyway, YAY!