It's over.
I just couldn't do it anymore. Things were getting better. Or so I thought. It's not even the fact that he did it, it's the fact that he lied to me over and over. He looked me straight in the eye and lied to me.
He's right though. Maybe I haven't been trying. Maybe I have been telling myself that I am but in all reality I haven't been. I can't get over it. And I resent him for everything he has done to me and to us.
He sounded like he didn't want us to end but I just couldn't do it anymore. So I told him I loved him and that I cared about him but that I wasn't IN love with him anymore. He was hurt.
But you have no idea what this feels like. I'm so heartbroken right now. I'm so scared. I'm so lost. I do love him. It just wasn't working. And it hasn't been working. And I am pretty sure it never will.
I didn't want this. I so wanted to believe in us and that everything would work it's self out but that's a fools dream. And I have been the fool long enough. I have to start thinking about what is best for our daughter and what is best for me.
Now comes the hard part. Actually staying strong and not giving into him like I do. Now comes the real decisions to be made. Now comes the beginning of the end.

I'm scared.