Friday, June 27, 2008

There are things...

I'm afraid to be a mother some day. I honestly dont know if I could be a mother, aside from a birthmother that is. I mean I dont have to RAISE my children to be good, honest, lovely people. Nope, I get to watch someone else attempt this challenge. So the guilt, hurt, frustration, etc. doesnt haven't have to fall on me. I'm a coward. I am not ready to be a mother at all! And I wont be for who knows how long.

I know that my mother did the best that she could. And when ANYONE disputes that there is a chance of me punching their face out. Seriously fucking hurting them. Oh my god, it's "so easy" for some and hell for others. Can a mother really judge another?

Every life is different. I wish I knew the meaning behind mine. Because truth be told, I feel like my purpose came and went several years ago....

1 comment:

Anita said...

Juanita, I appreciate that you would punch someone for me, but don't..lol
Your purpose here is still yet to come, live your life, be happy
Sent you a private email
love you so much,
Mom