Because I work in a bookstore people often ask me what my favorite book is. Honestly, at this point I dont have one. But here is what I have discovered about myself since working at Barnes and Noble, I really enjoy reading biographies, kids books and books that have been turned into movies. Of course I do read other books but most of the time it feels more like a chore than a leisurely activity.

I'm currently reading the Harry Potter series. I'm on book 4 now. I like it. It wasnt until the 7th and final book came out that I really became interested in reading it. I worked the midnight release party and saw how excited EVERYONE was. There were people that were crying. It was amazing. I had obviously seen the movies and had resolved that I would eventually read the books. But after the release of the 7th book my desire to read the book became very strong.

So I read the 1st and the 2nd. Then I stopped. To me they were pretty much like the movies. So I sorta lost interest for a while. But then out of the blue I bought the 3rd book and started reading again. Yeah man, that was the one that got me hooked again. I read whenever I had free time. Now I'm on the 4th book. I'm about a quarter of the way through it and I cant stop reading it.

Anyway, I do like books. Just not the typical fiction, romance, mystery, scifi stuff. At least not now. Kids books keep me young. Biographies remind me that everyone really does have their own story to tell. And books that have been turned into movies are fun to compare and contrast.

The SLC arts Festival.... I am feeling quite depressed.... I just want to get drunk and forget the life that I've had... Honestly, I am so stressed out, scared, depressed and pissed that I almost dont know what to do with myself.

Whatever.

There are things...

I'm afraid to be a mother some day. I honestly dont know if I could be a mother, aside from a birthmother that is. I mean I dont have to RAISE my children to be good, honest, lovely people. Nope, I get to watch someone else attempt this challenge. So the guilt, hurt, frustration, etc. doesnt haven't have to fall on me. I'm a coward. I am not ready to be a mother at all! And I wont be for who knows how long.

I know that my mother did the best that she could. And when ANYONE disputes that there is a chance of me punching their face out. Seriously fucking hurting them. Oh my god, it's "so easy" for some and hell for others. Can a mother really judge another?

Every life is different. I wish I knew the meaning behind mine. Because truth be told, I feel like my purpose came and went several years ago....

Every now and then I get to help someone famous at my work. Guess who I got to help today?



Yeah man, Crosby and Nash. I didnt see Stills though. Anyway, it was cool. They were nice guys. Nash called me "love". It made me feel special. Ha.

I got a new bike this weekend. Its so pretty. I love it!

This is our lovely little garden. We have had struggles right from the start. We planted seeds and of the seeds the peas were the only thing to grow. So we went and bought plants. Our soil isnt that great. And the garden is on a slight hill. So when we water all the topsoil drains on to the patio. We have pests, birds and stray cats. It's been hard. BUT we finally have a couple of things growing. We have tomatoes and a couple of peppers. We are so excited to see these little baby plants grow.

We also have a friendly little black widow. She has really helped us with the pests. The first time I saw her I was totally creeped out. But Eric and I looked up pests and such online. And we learned that black widows are good for the garden. So now she has a safe little home where no one will kill her out of fear. Oh and we bought some praying manti to help with pests as well. We've seen a huge dragonfly in our garden. Its kinda cool.

Anyway, our garden is slowly coming alive. And amazingly it is still alive. We work pretty hard on trying to keep it growing healthy and strong. Its not always easy but its so much fun and so worth it.

Oh, and this picture has nothing to do with anything. Its just for those of you that havent seen me in a while. I'm still a dork.

Happy Father's Day Lee


Happy Father's Day Malen


Happy Father's Day Russell


Happy Father's Day Geno


Happy Father's Day Tyler






And Happy Father's Day to those that I missed. :)

Yesterday I went to Lagoon with Eric. I had never been before. Honestly, I am not a fan of scary, fast, high rides. But I went to give it a try.

I have only been on a roller coaster once. When I was about 12/13 Lee's sister Karalynn took me to the Santa Cruz boardwalk. She knew that I didnt want to ride the roller coaster. So she said that we would go on the ride next to it. As we walked up the ramp I noticed that we were getting higher and higher. By the time that we reached the top I knew that I had been TRICKED! I didnt want to go but I didnt want to be a wimp and run away. So I did it and it was terrible and fun. But I never went on another roller coaster or scary ride again... until yesterday.

Yesterday we walked into the park and straight to the little white roller coaster. Eric said it wasnt that bad. So I just decided that I would go for it. Honestly, I cried and I screamed very, very loud. I pretty much had my eyes closed as tight as they could be for the whole thing. And afterwards I was shaking. I dont know what the appeal is of having your guts come out of your mouth. Even though I was a wreck after the coaster I was very proud of myself.

I chickened out of a couple of rides. But I did go on about 5. Pretty much all the water ones. I was walking around like a soaked cat. I screamed on pretty much all of them. Overall it was fun. I promised Eric and myself that the next time that I go I'll try another scary ride.

I wish I had pictures but I dont. Maybe next time though.

Just a few little notes

Here is a short little list of some of my favorite things lately:

Artichokes! I eat them all the time. I am actually cooking one right now in the pressure cooker. I like them with extra virgin olive oil and various seasonings.

OH MY GOD! I just took the artichokes from off the stove and I found a ladybug inside. I killed it. I feel awful. I love ladybugs. And yet I accidentally murdered the poor little guy. I felt so bad that I started to cry and had to run into the bathroom to tell Eric while he was showering. I still feel terrible.

The rest of this post will have to wait until later. :(

R.I.P. Artichoke Ladybug

I've been feeling so tired lately. Tired and stressed. I just want quiet.

I go to work and hate pretty much every minute of it. I get nagged all day about where the bathrooms are. I have to clean up after people's messes. You would THINK that grown "adults" would know how to clean up after themselves or at least know how to respect property. I have to deal with people shoving fliers and porno discs into our books. I have to wonder if a magazine that I pick up has been inside the men's restroom. I get to hear work gossip that I often times dont want to hear because then I feel stuck in the middle. Yet, sometimes I get a nice customer that really just wants a book. And that is great. But the rest is hard.

I come home from work and someone is always playing on the wii or watching tv or hanging out. And then Eric wants to talk about my day and figure out what we are going to cook for dinner. If Lily hasnt been fed yet she'll meow until Eric of I feed her. There is always some noise or someone talking. Its hard to find quiet in this house anymore.

Its no ones fault, its just life.

I need a vacation or something.