My sister Andrea is pregnant. She is placing her baby for adoption. I respect her choice not only because I have been there before... twice... but also because I respect a woman's right to choose what is best for her, her body, her baby and her life.
Anyway, this post is not about "that". This post is about photography. In shooting my family and friends over the years I have come to realize many, many things. For one, I love catching candid moments in time. I love the drama that posed pictures can create. But then again I feel incomplete after taking pictures so generic. I feel a bit sad taking the kinds of pictures that literally ANYONE can take.
This is why I am in school. I always wanted to be a photojournalist. I always wanted to capture the scary shit in life. Dodge bullets, outrun wild animals, suffer months of heat/cold/war in order to bring a photograph to the world that would speak volumes to the greater mass.
And yet here I am, weak in my portraiture, scared shitless of doing something that no one has ever done before. I dream of photo essays about drug addicts because it means something to ME and I know it will mean something to someone else. I wish for horrific accidents to happen across the street from my house so that I can come rushing out my front door without a thought or care in the world other than getting that one shot.
I guess... I just see so many generic photographers. Yes, they take beautiful pictures but do they know how to photograph. And if they do why do they let themselves fall so hard into the generic world of photography? Will that be me one day? Is that me.. now and forever more?
I dont want that for myself. I want something meaningful. This scares the hell out of me. How do I make it happen for myself? And more importantly how do I do this while balancing my life as a wife, homeowner, daughter and one day.... mother?
GOD!
