From a journal entry 1-25-06

"Why do I have this feeling? The feeling that something is right here, right around the corner, right at the front door. Something is there waiting for me to look. Something is waiting for me to take. And this is by no means a small something. This feels very big. I can't quite put it to words. It's just there. I feel it getting closer and closer every day. I feel excited and nervous and scared and thrilled out of my head. When will I know what the hell this thing is? I'm impatient."

I still dont quite know what that something was. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it already happened and I was so distracted that I missed it. I am not sure either way. 

Anyway...

• This year I am going to get my drivers license. 
  
• I am going to go to college. 
  
• I am going to get a better job that makes me feel good about myself. 
  
• I am going to volunteer at the UMFA. 
  
• I am going to start running again, keep running and not let myself stop running. 
  
• I am going to dress up and wear heels more often. 
  
• I am going to cut ties with people that have no place in my life anymore. 
  
• I am going to read, paint, write and take pictures more this year. 
  
• I am going to gain control of my life. 
  
• And I am going to do one huge thing that I otherwise would have been afraid to do. 
  

New Years resolutions are cheesy but this is my life that I am trying to get in order. So lets just say this is a to do list for the year not resolutions. Wish me luck.