I am very much so happy with Eric. I love waking up next to him. I love falling asleep in his arms. I love sitting together doing crossword puzzles or cooking dinner. I even enjoy cleaning the room and kitchen for him. I know it's silly but I truly love doing anything with and for him. He makes me so happy.

Even though things are wonderful and I'm in love I am so stressed out. I have yet to get a job and to help out with any bills. I have yet to help save up for us to get out of this place. And it's wearing me down. I know it's wearing Eric down too. It's brought some added stress into our lives. God, I can't wait for things just be ok. For me to have a job and for Eric and I to have our own place with both our cats. Just to be living life and being happy and not stressing out so much about EVERYTHING. Sigh. This is the hard part.. getting to where we want to be.

I should be studying for my GED right now but I am too distracted. I should be working on getting my DL but I am too distracted. I should be apartment and job hunting but I'm tired. I feel like all I do while Eric is at work is look for apartments and jobs all day long. And as of yet nothing has worked out. Ugh. I would work at Blockbuster for now. Even if it was only $6.50 an hour but I have yet to hear back from them. I NEED A JOB! I think once I get a job things will start to get a little easier from there. I hate feeling like a bum. It makes me depressed. It makes me hate to look at myself in the mirror or to talk to anyone.

Anyway, will things ever fully work out for me? Or do I have to pick and choose between health, love, school, work, a nice apartment, etc. etc? It's always one good thing, the rest if shit.