I don't know what's going on with our relationship. Is it a relationship? What have we become? This whole thing is hard. I love Ryan. And I know I want to be with him. And I know his reasons for a break are valid. But I just keep feeling as though if he really wanted to be with me he would. Issues or not. Maybe I'm asking too much though. I probably am. I should just let things happen.... I don't know how to do that.