I'm not jealous for the reasons he thinks. God, all today at work I had to hear my and Tyler's wedding song and pretend that everything was fine. 8 fucking hours!!!! Every 20 minutes or so there it was a slap in the face! I wanted to run away so fast.



He has it so easy. Him and his exes/friends/exes/whatever... he's friends with them all. It's not fair. Ryan wont talk to me unless him and his girlfriend are having problems. And Tyler is dead. I know that he says things like, "They are/were idiots...." but I loved them deeply. And I know he's trying to make me feel better but it doesn't. Either I am an idiot that devoted my whole self to idiots, and that brings up thoughts that I could be now. (I know I'm not) Or... Or I'm so forgettable. Or I have given so much of myself to people that were never worth my time.


...But then again, as usual, he could be right. Maybe they are/were idiots. Yeah, like all his exes are/were perfect. Whatever. I'm sick of caring. Why can't it all just go away???!!!!